So a demon can have its own personal demons

I get back to the title of this blog later as this concern my dad.
This weekend (June 6-8) I went away to see my sister and 2 nieces.

It is the furthest I have travelled since I got out of hospital and pre-blood transfusion, I had an early night the evening before and planned my journey, being a Virgo I packed my case the night before, why make hard work and scramble around for clothes an hour before you travel and then forget half the things you need

Also the morphine tablets I have been prescribed so help me control the pain and this helps with travelling and is giving back control of my life.
So I set of for Erith (south east London) at 11am and was there by 1:30pm it was a nice pleasant journey, apart from the old creepy guy with a beard trying to chat me up, that was easily dealt with, (make up girlfriend! Sorry I am a lesbian ok I’m bi, 90% lesbian the 10% is for Johnny Depp)
The train journey from London Canon Street to Erith was like a trip down memory lane, places like Greenwich, Charlton, Woolwich and Plumstead bringing up a whole lot of childhood and early adulthood memories, I mix of good, bad and indifferent.

After a short taxi ride I was at my sisters, it was great to catch up over a cup of tea and I also had a chat with my nieces Demi and Danni.
I also noticed that Jeanette’s house is spotless and like me she is fussy, the reason for this is that we were brought up in a “shithole”.
We both also agreed that in the past we had felt a need to apologise to people for this, sometimes we have had people make comment like “you need to relax” etc in fact we both now agree if we are house-proud then respect our homes don’t mock us! The abnormal thing is a dirty home and being chaotic.

The plan for the evening was to go out to a noodle bar around 7pm then on to local pub that had live music.
Also at this point I have started to show off my figure and am feeling really good, and my niece told me I am beautiful (bless her).

The meal in the noodle bar was lovely; my dad had declined to come to this and said he would meet us in the pub. (Ok I and Jeanette mentioned short arms and long pockets).
We get to the pub at 8:30 and there is no sign of my dad, at 8:45 my sister phoned him to ask where he is and got an “I am on my way” he finally turned up at 9:15 and was his usual unsociable self.

Truth be told my dad has no interpersonal skills whatsoever.
He mumbled quick “you look well” to me and spoke to other people, anyway he did end up sitting next to me and I will try to put some of the “best” bits of the conversation into a script mode.

D (dad) “I hear you are going to your sisters for Xmas” (note how he does not use Jeanette’s name, his way of showing disapproval)
Me “yes I am, are you going to come up and join us for Xmas day?”
D “no and the only reason I am here today is to see you, you know why I am not coming up at Xmas”
Me “I assume you mean because Nero will be there? (Nero is my sister’s boyfriend)
“as I told you before dad I’m not taking sides, I will talk to you both, but don’t you think it is about time you acted more like a adult, after all Jeanette accepts your new girlfriend”
Silence for a few minutes then he goes outside for a cigarette break
He sat next to me again.
D “Anyway you’re lucky your sister accepts and talks to you” at this point I knew what he meant, but wanted him to clarify it, a old counselling skill”
Me “what do you mean by that”
D “Well what with your transsexualism and the what”
Me “dad there is nothing to accept, and I am not lucky, I am a good person and always treated people well, you had to do nothing I have done all the work, just get over yourself, you have a beautiful daughter, look around this pub, are people staring at me? No that’s because I am a woman.
Accept me or stay out of my life”

Now he talks to Nero and they are all talking etc, Nero said Lucy looks lovely tonight and has no trouble living as a woman, my sister said you got to stop saying “I can’t accept it” my niece Demi said auntie Lucy is f**king fit granddad

Anyway later he comes up and is talking about my mum (she passed away with Cancer 3 years ago) and says he has guilt over how he treated her (hence the blog title) and could I counsel him (I told him I could not do this as it breaks a ethical code for me to counsel him and also I could be part of the counselling as he must have feelings of guilt of how he treated me and Jeanette.
He then invited me out “for a pint! The next day, I reminded him I was a woman and not to treat me like a man and also I was staying at Jeanette’s for the weekend, hey why not travel and see us!
So quite a exchange, during a mumble of the evening Nero had said to my dad don’t worry about getting a bus home (he was looking at the clock every 2 minutes) and he could sleep at my sisters, and hey a chance to talk to us both!!

At this point I was proud how I handled my dad, with my counselling experience and being a more balanced adult I did not “bite” at his comments, I just communicated as an adult to a child.
Anyway we all stagger into a cab and go back to Jeanette’s, my dad and Nero talk in the kitchen, and me and sis drink and dance to VH1 classics on cable (note how the men talk in one room and the women in another so Plumstead and sexist

My dad slept on my nice dannis bed (she was away at her dads that weekend) me and my sister cuddled up in Demis bed (she gave up her bed for me as she was staying at her boyfriends) keeping up!

We talked and gigged as we heard our dad snore, also it brought back childhood memories, I said we are in charge now sis his old and worn out demon.
As it was a late night (we went to bed at 3am) I slept in late, finally got up at 1pm, Jeanette and Nero was as lovely as they knew I would sleep in late, wine and morphine! But honest people Saturday is the only night I now drink alcohol)


My dad left before anyone got up the next day! Which really says a lot?
He also did not make the bed or leave the room as tidy as he found it; me and my sister sorted that.
My sister cooked a lovely Sunday roast and we sat in the garden and chatted, still no phone call from my dad.
Sunday evening we watched the final of the apprentice and I have now converted Danni to it as a fan for the next series.
The next morning Nero had to set off for work at 4am, so me, my sister and Demi had a good natter in the garden until it was time for me to leave at 1:30.
The weekend had really passed by so quickly and still no phone call from my dad, I told my sister my invite for him to see me in Southend was withdrawn unless he accepted me as his daughter.
I can’t be one of those transpeople who make excuses for people who won’t call me by name or the correct pronoun.
Also think about it this way if you let them get away with not showing you respect, they will think they can treat every other transgendered person with the same distain, I will ask other transwomen please do not let people treat you this way, you have a duty to do so.
My journey home went smoothly and I missed Jeanette so soon, she is coming down for the weekend of 27th June and we are going on a girls night out with some of my friends form work and dancing in a 80s club.
My sister phoned my dad and really tore into him with him trying to phone and phone me and me ignore him for now.
My sister told me she had always wanted a sister and we are very close now.

Whew this blog is finally done.