Day trip to Pattaya and home is on the horizon

This week I went out on a day trip to Pattaya, and on the agenda was a visit to a gemstone and jewellery shop, where you also get a guided tour and shown the process of original handcraft techniques used in the stone polishing, fittings and the final product and also a nice shop with helpful assistants, who were very good as we all bought something there!

I loved looking at the original quartz crystals and other stones in the museum part.

The young man, who was helping me, was kind enough to let me try on some diamond rings, even though I assured him they were out of my price range.

I have been looking for a amber ring for the little finger of my left hand for a little time now and when I did look at the amber rings, the first one I tried on was a perfect fit, I did try on some other rings, but this was always going to be my choice and I also bought it for a good price 1500 baht (£36) which for all the work on it is a fantastic bargain and also something to remind of a special trip to a beautiful country.

We were a small group of 9 people and most of us have been together before our SRS, so there was so much laughter and once again we were out again in the “stealth” van.

The next stage was a visit to park, which had some beautiful gardens, and also some shows, one is of traditional Thailand culture and dance, (which I really enjoyed) I do love watching theatrical content from different cultures) and a mix of Thai kick boxing, and sword fighting.

The second show I had mixed feelings about, it was a show with elephants in and they were very clever, it was a mix of them dancing, playing football, and even painting, ,my mixed feelings were for the elephants as I prefer that animals are out in their natural habitat.

In between we had a nice buffet style lunch and Jipp showed me how to serve up ice cream in traditional Thailand style and very nice it was!

We had set of at 9:30 in the morning and did not get back to 7pm so it was a long day and I was glad to have a shower and rest, although I had to make up for my missed afternoon dilation and have 2 evening ones.

I was also glad I packed plenty of pads in my bag as I went through all of them as did the other girls, men don’t know how lucky they are!

Interesting views from around the world

As I have been talking over the last few weeks, the views of girls from around the world and from different experiences has been interesting, from a Australian girl who was intersexed and had her SRS at 18 to the older women like me, and all our different paths to Thailand.

This brought up the question about “would we tell any future partner” about our gender history, and also for a younger lady like Jordan it would be if a future husband wanted children, then how would she answer the reason why she cannot have children, it gave a different perspective to the older woman who had previous marriages and have children.

Also from a interesting note if it helps any, I have noted that the couples who have stayed together after SRS in some way don’t function, it is a friendship, I had a chat with a couple and the genetic woman had admitted she was not a lesbian but was scared of change, perhaps even if it hurts it is best for people to move onto to new life’s.

The one thing we all shared and agreed on was how the “transgender” has become too much of an umbrella term for what was originally transsexual men and women.

The main thing had been rejection from families, the subject of people who had been married and women who had meet new partners during transition, so a whole mix of experiences.

A hint back at my calling?

During the my stay over here, people have at times asked if they could confide in me, I was even asked to mediate in a dispute between 2 sisters and dealt with everything ok, even one of the women from the clinic asked if they could talk to me, as she said she felt better after talking to me and I had a peaceful and calming nature, which with my counselling skills, got me thinking is this a calling back?

Last Appointment with Dr Suporn (or so I thought!)

Today is Friday 18^th February and it is my last appointment with Dr Suporn before I fly back home on Monday.

My healing has gone so well. A lot better than I expected, so I think my pre routine of yoga, aerobics and healthy eating really paid off and the girls tease me as they know I am ok with dilating, saying I even get off on it lol (as if!)

I had thought the most important thing was get here, get the surgery done and heal well and get home, anything else is a bonus.

I went into the examination room and Dr Suporn went through everything and said that there was a tiny tear on the lower outside labia; to be honest it is not as bad as it sounds, Dr Suporn is a perfectionist about his work, I just had to wait for a little while as he saw the rest of his patients and some stitches were applied, nothing painful at all, not even the injection for the local anasetic, I been poked and prodded so much over the last 2 years, so it’s nothing new to me.

It was funny as during the stitching process I jumped a bit and Jip who was holding my hand for comfort said “you in pain Lucy” I said no Clitoris very sensitive!

He is happy with everything else and I am not complaining with the swelling going down a lot I can already see my clitoral hood forming, I am a happy girl.

I will have a quick check-up on Monday by him to ensure that everything is ok.

I got my letters (I will try to take a photo to put up, if not I will scan when I get home)

But I can now get my GRC and finally get my birth certificate changed. (When you read Dr Suporns letter I don’t think the GRC panel can turn me down)

I also took up the offer for Dr Suporn to go through the photos from my surgery, and it is a surreal experience as I sat down and he went through step by step photos of my genitalia being reshaped and I get the DVD to take home, I must make a copy to send to my father.

I got my farewell pack, lots of the magic “green and yellow” pain killer tablets, cleaning stuff and other bits and pieces.

Also I have been given some sleeping tablets and these are very good, I am using one for the return flight to Heathrow airport, it will help pass the 10 hours away.

I will be picked up at 5pm to be taken to the airport on Monday, with a letter requesting wheelchair access and a seat with as much leg room as possible.

The next wave of “newbie’s” come flying in.

Well it seems like a long time ago that I arrived in Thailand 3 days before my surgery, a bit nervous, thinking I may be spending a lot of time alone in a hotel room recovering and maybe not getting out much, this was my previous blogs have mentioned showed this was not what my experience was at all.

I saw a new group of people waiting in the clinic and getting the little wreath of flowers and their box containing the four boyfriends! And amongst the group I recognised an English accent with a hint of Devon in it.

It was a lady from Cornwall and I invited her to our little group meal and drink later that evening, (it was a joint leaving event for me, Jordan and Alexandra, as we leave on Saturday, Sunday & Monday respectively)

I also invited her to sit with us at breakfast and gave the advise about the 7/11 shop to help save money being spent in the hotel, how to order cheap bottled water from the clinic and so on, I won’t be able to visit her in hospital as she is admitted on Monday for a Tuesday Surgery, but I was able to put her mind at rest that she was in good hands and the post operative care is first class and answered her questions, the top one “Dilation”! I was able to assure her was not as bad or painful as she will think and we would exchange email details as I would email her and ask how things are.

Also she shared a interesting story with me, a friend of hers had her SRS by Mr Thomas (who would have done mine on the NHS) and although she was happy with the appearance of her vagina, she had no sensation at all as his technique cant do that, and not a lot of depth, so I am so glad that fate gave me a chance to be able to have my SRS with Dr Suporn.

So we were passing on the torch to the new group.

Last night there were a lot of tears and hugs as we have shared a journey, not so much a physical one, but one of putting a part our soul at rest and feeling ready for a new life as it starts again.

Finally some last lovely words to me

I have thought at one stage of a bit of Facial Feminisation Surgery (FFS) some doubts had crept in as I saw some results over the last few weeks (not patients of Dr Suporn I must stress)

And had thought I like my face and I am good with makeup and also am totally comfortable going out without it, some girls thought I had had surgery as they said my face was feminine, and my voice was complimented as being feminine and I said I had not had surgery just done my voice exercises over the last 18 months.

I did ask Dr Suporn and he said your face is a nice shape and you are very femanine in your appearance, deportation and your essence is female, that was nice to hear.

So I will be writing away in my private blogs before I fly away and also on my flight home (before the magic sleeping tablet kicks in!

My next post here will from back in sunny England and with Smudge back at my side.

Thank you to Caroline for the lovely chats while I have been over here and also to the lovely Joanne for the same reason and the detailed Eastenders and Corrie Street updates J

Day trip to Dr Suporns Beach house

Although I always envisioned that this trip would be about healing and recuperation, it is still nice to fit in the odd trip out amongst all the days of rest.

One such trip planned is a day trip to Dr Suporns beach house which is about a 60 minute drive from the hotel, we did stop on the way for about 60 minutes to visit a temple, which was fantastic and on my list of places to visit.

It was also nice to meditate before one of the female goddess statues and to give thanks for my healing.

Then it was onto the beach house, the staff where once again so friendly and helpful, and plenty of cold drinks and an afternoon buffet were supplied.

Also at this stage I should mention that this was at no cost to us, it is part of the service of aftercare.

We also had a Thai massage which was a wonderful and relaxing experience.

Although we can’t swim in the sea at the moment, (activities like this are not allowed for another 12 weeks) it was still nice to walk along the beach and feel the waves wash over my feet and to sit down and watch the sea, such a wonderful and relaxing feeling.

To be honest since I have had my operation I have felt totally at peace with myself and have a wonderful sense of well being.

We did share some humour on the trip as the van has “The Dr Suporn Clinic” on the side, now not everyone in Thailand knows about what type of surgery he does, but we couldn’t resist jokes that at least we were going out in stealth in “the transsexual van”, I knew my stitches are healing as I had not too much pain with the laughter.

Wednesday 9^th February 2011

I had my latest check-up with Dr Suporn today, this was to check inside my vagina walls and ensure the skin graft is healing ok, he ensured me that the little tool was narrower then my dilator, but I didn’t flinch, it’s funny how used us women get to having Drs putting things inside our vaginas!

Everything looked fine and he is pleased with everything and with the aid of a mirror showed me, nice and pink and genuine looking inside and hairlessJ.

My next checkups are on Monday 14^th and then Friday 18^th, and then it will be time to go back home.

The time has passed so quickly and it will be nice to back in my little cosy flat with Smudge.

Thailand – 4th February 2011

Dilation is a word that all transsexual women will hear about as surgery comes up, it’s even known about before transition almost like some sort of mythical beast.

I think this legend has grown due to some” horror “stories by previous post op transsexual women, who not only seem to revel in explaining bout blood etc, but also enter the competition “who has the most depth”, I hasten to add that this is not true of all transsexual women, but the odd few strewn apples out of the box seem to have to find a way for masculine competitiveness.

Although I can adopt a “take it with a big pinch of salt” attitude, let’s be honest some images do form in the mind that can change as the day comes nearer.

Not only is it important to maintain depth, but to also circulate the vaginal and internal scar.

I am now 10 days post op, and have been out of hospital for 3 days, have now settled into my twice daily dilation routine.

The process after surgery is to have complete bed rest for 5 days and to keep your legs not to far apart or bent (as to not tear the skin graft as it heals).

This Was hard work, far harder then I imagined, I had my notebook and internet access, a good book to read, my iPod and my portable DVD player, I worked my way through the complete season 3 of “Buffy the vampire slayer”.

But little things like bending your knees to rest a notebook on, you never realise how much you miss it until you are not allowed to do it.

I was given a bed wash and new hospital top changed twice a day, and my room was cleaned twice a day, (once again the NHS could and SHOULD learn from this so called “third world nation).

The fridge in my room was well stocked with bottled water and fruit juices, one advantage of having a catheter is that you do not have to worry about trips to the loo with some drinking of fluids.

It is important as it encourages the newly shaped urethra to work and after my previous hospital trips; I am now an old hand at it.

On the 6^th day I was able to have a shower (ah the bliss) and walking with the aid of a nurse.

I took little granny steps at first and then on the 7^th day I was able to visit some of the patients in the rooms either side of me.

The 7^th day unlike in that wonderful comic is not a day of rest, but the day of release from hospital, but also has a tinge of nerves as it is also “D Day” (I think by now we know what the “D” stands for)

In the morning my catheter tube was sealed off, not taken out, but disabled and I had a shower and was given a pain tablet.

One of “my boyfriends” was taken out of my box; I noted it was the second largest “Jimmy Dean”

Then a nurse wheels in a steel trolley which was left alone with me for 15 long minutes as I awaited Dr Suborn, it looked more like something out of a “SAW” film as the minutes ticked by.

Then Dr S arrives and started to explain to me how the process was going to work, and also the cleaning ritual, for the first 2 weeks as the internal stitches heal, the wound also needs to be cleaned.

So first the Cather and drain tubes removed, no problem, next stage the internal packing, as I watched it really took me back to memories of watching a magician on television where they kept pulling all those multi colourer handkerchiefs out of his sleeve, it is packed into a Condon so that any bandages can infect you inside, but a lot comes out! And I can happily say there is no pain whatsoever.

Dr Suporn places a mirror between your legs and shows you as he dilates you, and it is not to unpleasant, a slight discomfort.

The only thing left is that I was able to urinate before I left hospital, and once again I had heard stories of “going everywhere” maybe I was just lucky, or possibly my deportment option of sitting down to urinate since I started my transition helped, but I did not go everywhere and had no discomfort, and it was a wonderful feeling when I sat down with my new vagina.

I was driven back to the hotel, and then told that Aye would visit me at 4pm. This was to watch me dilate and make sure that I was ok with the whole process.

Also due to hygiene reasons, tap water is not advised to be used to clean any instruments, the clinic do provide 6 bottles of water at a cheap price.

The whole routine takes 60 minutes at the moment, first is to wash the vagina area with water and then a medical solution, and then clean again with water so the whole area is clear.

A large plastic mat is provided to cover the bed sheet, with a long thin PVC strip. Also for extra hygiene a condom is placed on the dilator, (I have been told that there is no need for this once I am back in England and the skin grafts have healed.

Then you get on with it, as it stays in for 30 minutes I watch an episdode of the xfiles. This routine will change to 3 x 15 minute sessions next week and onto “dynamic dilation”

I had s titi8ches taken out today and I am happy with the healing process and walking a bit further now.

It is not that bad a process, it is just find8ing time to do it, and if you’re a Virgo like me then I got it all organised!