Thailand – 4th February 2011

Dilation is a word that all transsexual women will hear about as surgery comes up, it’s even known about before transition almost like some sort of mythical beast.

I think this legend has grown due to some” horror “stories by previous post op transsexual women, who not only seem to revel in explaining bout blood etc, but also enter the competition “who has the most depth”, I hasten to add that this is not true of all transsexual women, but the odd few strewn apples out of the box seem to have to find a way for masculine competitiveness.

Although I can adopt a “take it with a big pinch of salt” attitude, let’s be honest some images do form in the mind that can change as the day comes nearer.

Not only is it important to maintain depth, but to also circulate the vaginal and internal scar.

I am now 10 days post op, and have been out of hospital for 3 days, have now settled into my twice daily dilation routine.

The process after surgery is to have complete bed rest for 5 days and to keep your legs not to far apart or bent (as to not tear the skin graft as it heals).

This Was hard work, far harder then I imagined, I had my notebook and internet access, a good book to read, my iPod and my portable DVD player, I worked my way through the complete season 3 of “Buffy the vampire slayer”.

But little things like bending your knees to rest a notebook on, you never realise how much you miss it until you are not allowed to do it.

I was given a bed wash and new hospital top changed twice a day, and my room was cleaned twice a day, (once again the NHS could and SHOULD learn from this so called “third world nation).

The fridge in my room was well stocked with bottled water and fruit juices, one advantage of having a catheter is that you do not have to worry about trips to the loo with some drinking of fluids.

It is important as it encourages the newly shaped urethra to work and after my previous hospital trips; I am now an old hand at it.

On the 6^th day I was able to have a shower (ah the bliss) and walking with the aid of a nurse.

I took little granny steps at first and then on the 7^th day I was able to visit some of the patients in the rooms either side of me.

The 7^th day unlike in that wonderful comic is not a day of rest, but the day of release from hospital, but also has a tinge of nerves as it is also “D Day” (I think by now we know what the “D” stands for)

In the morning my catheter tube was sealed off, not taken out, but disabled and I had a shower and was given a pain tablet.

One of “my boyfriends” was taken out of my box; I noted it was the second largest “Jimmy Dean”

Then a nurse wheels in a steel trolley which was left alone with me for 15 long minutes as I awaited Dr Suborn, it looked more like something out of a “SAW” film as the minutes ticked by.

Then Dr S arrives and started to explain to me how the process was going to work, and also the cleaning ritual, for the first 2 weeks as the internal stitches heal, the wound also needs to be cleaned.

So first the Cather and drain tubes removed, no problem, next stage the internal packing, as I watched it really took me back to memories of watching a magician on television where they kept pulling all those multi colourer handkerchiefs out of his sleeve, it is packed into a Condon so that any bandages can infect you inside, but a lot comes out! And I can happily say there is no pain whatsoever.

Dr Suporn places a mirror between your legs and shows you as he dilates you, and it is not to unpleasant, a slight discomfort.

The only thing left is that I was able to urinate before I left hospital, and once again I had heard stories of “going everywhere” maybe I was just lucky, or possibly my deportment option of sitting down to urinate since I started my transition helped, but I did not go everywhere and had no discomfort, and it was a wonderful feeling when I sat down with my new vagina.

I was driven back to the hotel, and then told that Aye would visit me at 4pm. This was to watch me dilate and make sure that I was ok with the whole process.

Also due to hygiene reasons, tap water is not advised to be used to clean any instruments, the clinic do provide 6 bottles of water at a cheap price.

The whole routine takes 60 minutes at the moment, first is to wash the vagina area with water and then a medical solution, and then clean again with water so the whole area is clear.

A large plastic mat is provided to cover the bed sheet, with a long thin PVC strip. Also for extra hygiene a condom is placed on the dilator, (I have been told that there is no need for this once I am back in England and the skin grafts have healed.

Then you get on with it, as it stays in for 30 minutes I watch an episdode of the xfiles. This routine will change to 3 x 15 minute sessions next week and onto “dynamic dilation”

I had s titi8ches taken out today and I am happy with the healing process and walking a bit further now.

It is not that bad a process, it is just find8ing time to do it, and if you’re a Virgo like me then I got it all organised!